THE day

on this day exactly one score minus two years ago, the Great Bean Of Creation (GBOC) somewhere in Stavromula Beta decided to create a bean to be the focal point of all that is good about beans, and send forth his only created bean to Earth to bring some excitement to what is really a very boring planet, that is to say a planet that does not put beans on a pedestal and worship them, holding festivals to celebrate their beaniness etc. why humans had the weird (and abhorrent) custom of ingesting beans to provide nutrition the GBOC never found out, nor did he (obviously it's a he) ever bother to try for fear of being ingested to provide nutrition.

thus it came to be that on this day a human child (a he of course) was born. the parents in their overenthusiastic joy, force-fed him a mashed bean as his first meal (don't ask why)

thus it came to be that your old bean was born again, with a level of conciousness at once many times greater and many times weaker than yours, so they cancel out to make him ultimately ...........boring.

damn
i forgot my own birthday
my brother told me last night " you know what day is tomorrow?"
i said "tuesday"
bloody hell
how stupid can i get huh?